Monday, 20 October 2014

Public Kindergarten Cop Moments

Most of us remember that little boy from Kindergarten Cop who was giving Arnold Schwarzenegger anatomy lessons. "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!". It's still funny to this day. Funny that is, unless it's your child and you're the one being given the anatomy lesson in public.

Everett and Brody had recently learned this little anatomy lesson and their views on how boys were boys and girls were girls were a little off. The boys even went so far as to telling me that I was a bad boy and my penis fell off. Apparently, in my kids' minds, all girls are just evil little boys whose penises have fallen off. I guess I was evil enough that my penis fell off when I was quite young, I find it ironic that I bore 3 boys whose penises remained very much intact, despite their corrupt mother! Oh, the irony. Let's just say, I put the quash on that little rumour real quick. Kudos to their imagination with regard to gender determination.

One afternoon, I took Brody grocery shopping. It was pretty busy at the checkout, so Brody helped me put some things on the conveyor belt while he sat proudly at the front of the cart, facing me. Our cashier was male, as was the bag boy. They started to check us through as the elderly lady behind us commented on how cute and helpful Brody was.

While I thanked her, my son, very matter-of-factly, started pointing at people. "I HAVE A PENIS, HE HAS A PENIS, HE HAS A PENIS, YOU HAVE A VAGINA AND SHE HAS A VAGINA!". You know, those times when it seems EVERYBODY in the grocery store heard. The cashier and bag boy started laughing hysterically as the elderly lady blushed and sighed out: "Oh dear". All I could do was reply: "Well, he's not wrong!", as I paid for the groceries.

Unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger, these public Kindergarten Cop moments definitely won't make you feel like saying: "I'll be back"!

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